Denver Post Etiquette Article

Classic Creations featured in Denver Post Wedding Etiquette Article:

Hey, wedding guests: Get it (etiquette) together, OK?
Today's bride and groom have more to worry about than a sexually explicit toast, overbearing in-laws and someone else wearing all white.

Bad guests who overshare on social media networking sites have left couples feeling exposed.

Posting photos online without permission is the biggest digital wedding gripe of brides who responded to a WeddingChannel.com poll, with 40 percent citing it. Poor behaviors run the gamut from tweeting an RSVP and doling out minute-by-minute status updates, to complaining about the food, accidentally announcing an engagement or alerting friends, co-workers and family members who weren't invited. Read More...

Wedding Etiquette - Holding the Bouquet and Walking the Walk

Wedding Etiquette-How to hold the bridal bouquet like a pro and walk the walk!

To some of you this may seem like such a basic thing....."hellooo Julie I know how to walk, I do it every day!" That may be true, but everyday are you wearing a stunning gown and have several hundred eyes watching your every move?

Don't worry, there are some basics to getting down the aisle in style:

-Put all those negative thoughts out of your mind about tripping, stumbling, fears of having people watch you, etc....I know it can be a little intimidating to have all those eyes on you. Just remember they are there to share in your happiness and so excited for you. Be sure to look down that aisle for your husband to be, he'll be beaming at you, and all your worries will be replaced by excitement.

-Here's the proper way to make your grand entrance. Your ladies have already started down the aisle, the moment arrives, the music changes, guests are asked to rise, it's your big moment! First things first, take a deep breath and relax! There's no need for the hesitation step (right together, left together, etc), a slow graceful walk will get you down the aisle in style. Be sure to select a song that has a good cadence...not too fast, not too slow.

-If you are a bit anxious I tell my brides to count backwards from 100 by threes, your mind can't process that and being nervous at the same time. By the time you get to 91 you may see your groom at the end of the aisle and forget that nervousness and everything else around you!

-Hold your bouquet down low. If you've ever watched a wedding movie, or one of those reality shows you'll see the bridesmaids and bride either carrying them right in front of their chest (hello...it's hiding all the beautiful beadwork on your gown!), out to the side in mid-air like a torch, or they get a little nervous and so as they start down the aisle it sneaks up, higher and higher until it's right under their chin and it looks like they're eating their flowers! So here's how to keep from looking like you're snacking on your bouquet. You probably will be holding on to your escort for support (and maybe to keep you from running down the aisle to your dashing groom) so you will hold your bouquet with one hand. As you hold the bouquet, take the thumb of the hand holding the bouquet and place it just a few inches below your belly button and hold it there. It gives you something to focus on as you walk. Tell this tip to your bridesmaids as well and you all will look consistent and fabulous as you walk down the aisle.

-Remember to not hold the bouquet against your dress, the stems may still be wet or the pollen may fall off and stain it.

-Take your time. You only get to do this once, so enjoy every moment.

Tipsy Thursday- Caterer Tasting Etiquette

Tipsy Thursday Wedding Etiquette
Tasting Tips


This is the favorite part for many people...or at least the groom....the tasting with the caterer and bakeries. I've heard stories of brides who've done tastings with 7 caterers, ladies this is just not necessary...and makes those dress fittings more challenging!

So here's some etiquette that goes along with tastings.

1. Get quotes from your caterers, compare and NARROW it down! Believe me the caterers understand if you are comparing them with one or two others, but not 8! It costs them a lot of money to do these and in the end yes they will pass it on to you one way or another!


2. Be up front about the amount you have to spend. They can give you great suggestions.


3. Have your menu narrowed down to what you think you really will have at your wedding so that you only need one tasting with the caterer. If you need to completely change an item see if it's possible for them to make just that item and you can swing in to pick it up at another time. Only do this if you plan on booking with this company.


4. This is the most important one...ASK how many people you are allowed to bring, and only bring that number.


5. Tell them any dislikes prior to the tasting...if you really hate onions ask them to leave them off...also let them know of any food allergies for people attending the tasting.
6. At the tasting- be clear and specific on what you like and don't like...you are not hurting their feelings (just do it tactfully). Too much salt let them know, they can change sauces, leave off items you dislike etc. That's what tastings are for....so you can modify the menu.
7. Be sure to ask to see pictures of their work, ask about staff attire, staff ratios etc

Obviously with a great wedding planner they will take care of all this for you!

Photo of the Week- Something Old, Something New...

Photo of the Week
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Weddings are all about traditions...and one of my favorite is the "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue". I always ask my clients what they have for each of these items...people get VERY creative. Of all wedding traditions, I think this one is still one that brides love.

The tradition dates back centuries, according to the tradition each of these items is supposed to bring the couple good luck.

Something Old - This symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past.

• have a locket with a picture of your grandmother on her wedding day
• handkerchief
• your family heirloom pearls

Something New - Symbolizing hope for the bride's new life ahead. That you and your husband are creating a new union that will endure forever

• piece of jewelry (we always need more don't we?)
• your gown
• your engagement picture in a silver locket tied to your bouquet
• key to your new house tied to the inside of your dress

Something Borrowed - Borrow an item from a happily married friend or family member, so that their good fortune in marriage will carry over to you.

• your mother’s wedding ring on your wedding day
• your best friend’s fave piece of jewelry

Something Blue - In ancient times, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity. Your blue symbolizes fidelity to each other.

• a necklace with a blue stone
• blue garter under your wedding dress (just be sure to wear a white and a blue garter - tell your groom to remove the white one so that he is not tossing away your symbol of faithfulness)
• paint your toes blue!
• blue shoes

The last and not always common part of this saying is ......."and a silver sixpence in her shoe". This represents wealth and financial security.

• A sixpence is a coin that was minted in Britain. You can purchase keepsake ones online.
• Here in the US we often change this out to a "penny in her shoe" although some use a dime. Note for the best luck it should be in your left shoe.

Tipsy Thursday- Etiquette for Wedding Showers

It's Tipsy Thursday and time for more Wedding Etiquette.

April Showers.....bring Bridal Showers.

This may be the first of many celebrations in your honor. A wedding shower is a gathering of your friends, family and bridal party where they "shower" you with gifts....what fun!!!!

So here's some wedding shower basics every bride should know:

-Showers can be held anywhere from a few weeks prior to the wedding to a couple months. Just try not to schedule it too close to the wedding day as you'll have a few other things on your mind!

-Who's the Hostess? One long standing rule is that it's condisered rude and greedy for your immediate family to host the shower. This would include your mother, grandmother, siblings, mother-in-laws. This is the general rule, and in certain circumstances it is becoming more common for anyone to host the shower.

-Your fabulous guests- Usually this is made up of only close friends and family...you after all asking them to bring you a gift so your guests should be people you know! Anyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding. Nowadays this gets in to a problem with you work friends- if your office chooses to host an office shower that is the one exception as nobody expects you to invite all your coworkers. If you are having multiple showers were you may have some overlap on the guests, you should only invite them to one or two of the showers. Your bridal party, if invited to all showers, needs to be told they should only bring a gift to one of the showers...or they may want to do a joint gift at the showers to keep the cost down. This last word on guests is very imporatant.......the hostess decides how many people to invite afterall she is paying for it and you should be considerate to her checkbook.

-Invitations- the hostess can be issued in person, by phone, or typically in an actual inviation (many are available that are preprinted andyou can just fill in the pertinent information) It is acceptable to include registry information in the invite.


-Opening the gifts- this is the highlight and often the entertainment of the shower and usually happens after the refreshments are served. Have one of your attendants sit next to you so they can write down what you received and who it's from. You shoud thank each gift giver. Keep in mind you still will need to send a thank you note for the gift later. Often brides will keep the bows from their shower to put on a plate and make a "practice bouquet" to use for the rehearsal.

-Decor, theme, refreshments-this can get pretty creative! There's no real rule here except that it should be appropriate to the time of day (brunch, afternoon tea, cocktails, dessert). the hostess may want to have alovely arrangment on the table where drinks and snacks are being served. Often the hostess will select a theme for the shower...Round the Clock (guests are assigned a time and bring a gift appropriate to that hour)...Couples Shower (the grom and his friends attend- usually gifts are geared more towards the couple than just the bride)...Pantry Showers..Stock the Bar Showers...Recipe Showers. In some parts of the country there is the tradition to play some games, but many are steeering away from this and just using it as a time to get to know those closest to the couple and celebrate their upciming marriage.

-How many can I have? Typically two is really the limit with different guests invited to each one. You don't want to put a strain on your guests pocketbooks!

-Be sure to send a thank you note to the hostess, and even a little gift would be appreciated for all their hard work on your fabulous shower.

Enjoy these celebrations in your honor, just remember that it's not the loot that's important, it's the intimate celebration with your closest friends and family!

Wedding Etiquette - Place cards vs. Escort cards

Tipsy Thursday...time for more wedding etiquette!
So what's the difference between Place cards and Escort cards?

I know many people who use the names Place card and Escort card interchangeably, but these are actually two totally different things. So here's the ins and outs of Escort card vs. Place cards.

There's a fine art to deciding who sits where at your reception...sometimes this needs to be discussed over a bottle of wine. It requires that you consider the feelings of your guests, use some diplomacy when discussing it with your family, and a sense of fun. Now this can actually take some time to decide on so I always suggest you start this early. Get a diagram of the table layouts and start assigning! Once you have tables assigned you'll need to consider if you'll be using both Escort Cards and Place cards?

Escort Cards

Escort cards are what most of my clients will do.....these are little cards your guests pick up during the cocktail hour or as they enter the reception room. The cards are arranged in alphabetical order so they are easy for your guests to find. The Escort card simply assigns your guests to sit at a specific table. The Escort cards have your guests' name on it and their table number/name. The name on the escort card should match the formality of your event......Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith if it's formal (similar to how you addressed the invitation).....Mary and Bob Smith if it's less formal (yes, we usually put the ladies name first).

If you've had guests select their entree and you're not doing place cards, you would need to find some way to designate their food choice on the escort card and ask the guests to set them out at their seat where the catering staff can see them.

(Below, ribbon color designates food choice)

You can get pretty creative with these, the design should fit the level of formality and/or theme of your event.

(Winter theme- sock ornaments filled with candies doubled as favors)

(Old Hollywood Theme)

(Rock place cards for more natural theme)

(Matted escort table assignments)

Place cards

We typically see Place cards used at more formal events. These are cards that do exactly what they say... they tell your guests their "place" at their table. It will have their name on it and if you've had them select a specific entree will usually have some way to designate their entree choice (color, ribbon, etc).

For the actual names on the place card, again for a formal setting the name would be Mr. Smith (if you have two people with the same names then you can list the first name as well, i.e. Mr. Bobby Smith.). If it's more informal you can go without the title, i.e. Bobby Smith. Each of your guests will have their own place card...that goes for couples and well as your " and guest" people. So for those people bringing a date it will be necessary to find out the mystery "and guests" name, just put in a quick call to your friend.

Again, the style of the place card should fit the theme and formality of your event.

(Rock place cards)

(Combo menu card and place card)

(Couple's place card)

(Fall themed place cards)

Julie's Advice

We almost always suggest that you do escort cards, it keeps your guests from having that uncomfortable feeling of having to hurry in and get a seat or save a seat/table, & having to ask "is this seat open". It may be a little work for you, but will make your guests more comfortable on the wedding day.

Destination Wedding Etiquette

(The day this blog posts I'll be in El Careyes, Mexico for a stunning destination wedding...and Thursday is my birthday! What a fun way to celebrate! This week's blogs are all about destination weddings!)

Destination Weddings - Etiquette
Do you dream of marrying on a beach in a foreign land? On a mountain top outside a rustic lodge? Destination weddings are increasing in popularity and size. They are one of my favorite styles of weddings to plan!

It used to be the destination wedding had 10-15 guests, mostly family and friends watching you say your I Do's. That size has grown greatly recently. It seems most of the destination weddings I work with are 60 people and more.



So what's the destination wedding etiquette.....it really is pretty similar to planning your wedding at home, read on....



Who do we invite?
You can invite the same people you would for your wedding at home, but usually it's narrowed down to the people you REALLY want to have there. Think about it, who are you comfortable asking to spend money to come to your big day! Family (obviously) & close friends are the ones who usually attend. Some really close co-workers and bosses often make the trip too.


Who pays for these guests?
Each guest is responsible for their own travel and accommodations. So keep that in mind when you are selecting your resort. Also, keep in mind if your guests have children, many resorts are adults only. I know many brides think that the majority of their guests will spend a week at their destination of choice. In reality it seems most guests will have a 3-4 day stay.



Keep the guests up to date!
With a destination wedding you'll want to get your guests notified about your plans much earlier than you would if you were planning a wedding in your home state.

You'll want to notify your guests ASAP about your plans so that they have time to request vacation, save money, and get passports. You'll also want to give your guests some information about the resort, any group activities you have planned (costs for these if you're not covering them), and an indication of the level of formality....are you wanting them to go barefoot on the beach? There is no absolute rule that a destination wedding has to be informal.

Showers, parties, etc...

Since you really are only inviting people to your shower who you are also inviting to your wedding, you may consider skipping that big invite out to everyone to attend your shower. They may consider it rude and that you are asking for gifts. Consider throwing an after party when you return to share all the great pics and funny stories.

Rehearsal dinners....I would say the majority of the rehearsal dinners I do for destination weddings are 50/50 on inviting everyone. It's very dependent on the size of the group who traveled. Smaller weddings try to include everyone, while larger groups seem to stick to inviting only the bridal party (but gather with everyone later on for a drink). So here you have to see what's right for your group, and of course the groom's parents if they are paying.

What's so great about a destination wedding, and why are so many people having them?

The best thing about destination weddings is that your celebration lasts 3 days (or more) and everyone really gets to know each other! It also can be much more cost effective than putting on a wedding at home.

Of course a wedding consultant experienced in this type of event can be super helpful in guiding you through the etiquette and destination wedding plans! ;)
Give us a call!
303-471-0082

Wedding Etiquette - Engagement Etiquette

Tipsy Thursday (a.k.a Wedding Etiquette Tips)
Engagement Etiquette

I hope all of you have a fabulous Valentine's Day! I know many of you got engaged over the weekend, are rejoicing in the excitement, and are ready to shout it from the rooftops (if you haven't already!). Doesn't that bit of bling feel great, but maybe a tad bit awkward still? I'm sure you'll get used to it and are finding many reasons to use that left hand so that the ring is prominently displayed and sparkling!

Engagements are such a joyous time, full of big decisions and creative planning. During this time you will be bringing your family and friends together and with all this "closeness" there may be some times of friction. As you plan, remember that you and your fiance need to work as a team and support each other. Remember during your engagement to be considerate and communicate to all involved and hopefully you can keep your planning process smooth and easy.

Now that you're engaged here are a few things you should know:

1. Tell everyone! As I mentioned previously, you probably already have made a few calls to break the big news. If you haven't, there actually is an order to telling people:

• If either of you have children they are the first to know. Even if they are adult children, show them the courtesy of telling them before you make it public.
• Parents are next and you can decide to tell them together or talk to your parents on your own. If they haven't met your fiance, now's the time for a great introduction. In person is best, but at a minimum a phone intro should take place quickly. If your parents are divorced and you aren't as close with one, they still deserve to hear the news directly from you.
• Relatives and Close Friends are next in line. Oh...and avoid asking too many people to be in your bridal party until you've had a chance to sit down and really think about it....once it's out there you can't take it back.
• Co-workers - let your boss know first, and then your colleagues.

2. Not long after your engagement you should arrange for the parents to meet. In current times it doesn't matter as much who contacts who first. However, the bride's family should give the groom's family the chance to make that first move. If the families are separated by a distance they should make contact via phone if possible. The first meeting is usually organized by the groom's family, but again you can throw this custom out if it works better for your situation. This meeting can be a casual brunch, lunch, BBQ...whatever works for your crowd. If you have divorced parents then consider their feelings and the family dynamics before forcing them in to an uncomfortable situation. You can have separate gatherings.

3. Engagement Parties.....while they aren't mandatory, they are the perfect time for all your friends and family to gather for a toast in your honor. Note that gifts are not expected at this event; however, you may receive a few. Thank you notes should be written.....think of it as good practice for things to come!

4. Throughout your engagement make time for just the two of you. Set up date nights, with no wedding chat. Your fiance will really appreciate that.

5. Get to planning!!!! ...and of course a great wedding planner is the first thing on your list! We can't wait to hear from you! :)

Remember communication is the key during your engagement and in your future together. Have a great time planning your wedding!

Wedding Etiquette Tips - Ordering and Mailing Invitations

Wedding Invitations.....When to Order and Mail?

Oooh...letterpress.....engraving...monograms....textured papers.....ribbons.....I LOVE invitations!
There are an infinite number of wedding invitation styles to choose from and you can find them everywhere: DIY at scrapbooking stores, bridal magazines, online, fab custom designers, and local stationers.

Allow yourself plenty of time to look at the various styles, finding the perfect match to your wedding design can take some time. Additionally you'll want a reasonable amount of time for ordering and addressing them. Check with your stationer on how long it takes from ordering to delivery, and that will help you determine when to place your order. A good rule of thumb is to order your invitations 3-4 months prior to your wedding. Be sure to order a few extras, as there will be those last minute people you forgot to add to your list...plus you'll want a keepsake for yourself!

While your invitations are being made it's the perfect time to make sure you have addresses for everyone on your list....tell your parents no more procrastinating you have to have Aunt Muriel's new address! Having your list complete will make the addressing go so much faster when that big box of stunning invitations arrives on your doorstep.


Plan out your time so that you'll be addressing them about 10 weeks prior to your wedding. Then plan on popping those stylish invites in the mail 6 to 8 weeks prior to your wedding.

Now....I know many of you are so excited to get them out and want to send them several months earlier. Believe me I can hear you now..."but I have so many out of state guests, but I want to get responses back early". Try to resist sending them out too early. You'll get a handful back right away, but the majority of your guests will set them aside and may forget about them if your big day is a ways off. That 6-8 weeks is really typical timing and most of you may have notified your guests via your wedding website or save the dates anyways (save the dates go out about 4-6 months prior by the way, unless you have a destination wedding). Ok...ok....for those of you panicking (and nobody wants a panicked bride), we do occasionally send them out 10 weeks prior. :)


If you're hiring a calligrapher talk to them in advance to let them know you'll be contracting with them, and then let them know as soon as you place your order and have an estimated delivery date so they can get you on their schedule.

Have a great time looking at invitations, it's the first impression guests have of your day, make it fabulous!

Wedding Etiquette Tips - What's that M_________ on the RSVP card?

Tipsy Thursday - Wedding Etiquette Tips

Since many of you may be ordering invitations shortly I wanted to answer the very common question about what that mystery "M" is on the RSVP card. You know the one, you've seen it followed by the long line and not quite sure what to write.
M_____________

Many of my clients ask me this, so you're not alone!

The "M" precedes the space where you would fill in your "title" and then your name.
For example: Miss (adding the "iss") or Mr (just adding the "r").

There is quite a bit of etiquette involved in ordering invitations and all the inserts, so be sure to seek some professional guidance in this area.

Wedding Etiquette - Wedding Monograms

It's Tipsy Thursday, and time for Wedding Etiquette Tips.

Today's etiquette tip is all about Wedding Monograms....wedding monograms are hot and you'll see them everywhere!



There seems to be a bit of confusion on what order the names go in for a monogram and when you can officially use your monogram. So here's the etiquette rule on how to create and use your wedding monogram.

At weddings you'll mostly see monograms that consist of three letters or just the single initial of the couples last name. If you are creating a monogram using both your names just remember ladies first. You would have the initials of the wife's first name, then the couples last name, and lastly the groom's first name.


So if you were Sue marrying Robert Jones it would be: SJR (when it's larger in the middle that symbolizes your last name)



I always am asked when it's ok for you to start using your monogram?


So before your wedding, as far as save the dates, invitations, or thank you notes for showers it's a no-no until you've said your I do's.





During the ceremony I personally think it's all right to go ahead and use it on your programs, aisle runner, guest book, etc...





Once you've made it official you're free to use it wherever you'd like....menu cards, napkins, dance floor and more.


Note that monogram etiquette varies if you are doing a monogram just for yourself, so be sure to check with your stationer.